Never Goodbye

You gave me your heart, I gave you my soul; Your love and laughter, Made me whole;

Nearly nineteen long years, You graced my life; Til the reaper came, With sickle and knife;

Your silence is stunning, Your absence extreme; Every second of every day, Is crushing and mean;

My daughter, my love, The wind in my sails; Taken from me abruptly, Snuck through heaven's veil;

How am I expected, To continue living, When all around me, Is pain and misgiving?

In still, ebbing moments, I remember your voice; Your laugh, your whisper, In this deep, numbing void;

That has become, My new sentence to bear; When all I want, Is to have you back here;

You were everything precious, A sweet gift from God; That was ripped from my grasp, Buried under the sod;

I love you, I break for you, You're the blood in my veins; I beg for an answer, To make life seem humane;

But I know oh too well, The truth of this dark place; I will miss you until, We reunite in God's grace.



Before you left, You told me Everything: All your pain, And your regrets. I found it strange- The sudden openness Between us, But I didn't consider The ramifications; Until I found Your lifeless body In your apartment. Suddenly the world Came crashing in As I remembered Your haunting words. You knew you'd soon Be leaving me forever And I refused To believe it. Now I'm sentenced To the silence You left behind; And your words That once fell Upon my deaf ears Will echo in my mind Until I too Leave this earth To search for you In eternity.

Dedicated to my daughter who passed last November. I love you, Celby. Please forgive me.


The pain is so deep- Every time I have a memory, Every time I hear a song you loved, Every perfect picture waiting to be taken, Causes bitter tears of grief to awaken My broken heart again.

Everywhere I go- Everyone I meet, people who I talk to, Remind me of you and your beauty; I miss your caring heart, your giving aura of love; You were so much more than the average person Could have ever hoped to be.

My soulmate- We dreamed together, had grand plans, We laughed about silly things, Fought about even sillier things, Then hugged and reconciled, Knowing our love was one quite rare.

My daughter, my baby- My best friend; I raised you to be loving, understanding, A light in the darkness. How could God snuff out Someone so incredibly beautiful at such a tender age?

How could He allow it- When your presence changed lives And your perspective made everything better? Your glow could be felt by everyone who knew you; You made things make sense, you brought life into situations; You were a constant help to those in need.

I miss you, Celby. I always will- Until God has me take my last breath on this earth, Nothing will ever be the same again. The beauty you left behind is agonizing, The purpose you gave us torturous Because you were ripped from us without even so much

As an explanation.


death-poem-picture-by-diamante-lavendar You think life is forever, At least that's how it seems; Death is just a shadow In your deepest, darkest dreams.

We don't want to admit it, Or dwell upon the pain, But death is waiting for us In its own destined time frame.

Death will come and take you No matter what you say; Your time to leave's appointed In your designated way.

So don't try to deny it Or refuse to believe it's true; Live your life with purpose Until death comes for you.

-Diamante Lavendar

Follow Your Heart

Life can be rough. It can make you want to say, "Enough is enough! I quit!"

You throw up your hands In dismay, Not wanting to go through one more day,

Or minute or hour. But life demands that you keep moving, Whether you feel motivated or not.


The trials are turbulent. The road is rocky. Yet you know you must continue,

Despite your mind screaming At you That it's time to quit.

This is the key: Your mind is not your master. Your heart discerns your personal truth.

Deep down you know The right thing to do Is to persevere;

So continue your fight Until the sun of destiny Shines on the horizon;

The explanation of all things difficult Becoming a path of purpose To Heaven's door.

-Diamante Lavendar

Happy Mother's Day

"I love you, mom," she said;"I know you do," I answered.

My thoughts became stepping stones, Leading down a path in my mind.

I remembered her youth; Her first words, her first steps;

"Mama," she babbled, holding chubby arms wide, For me to pick her up.

Then she was leaving on the bus, For the first day of school;

I stood in the driveway, And watched the bus take my baby away.

"I think he likes me," she smiled as she Showed me his picture. "Isn't he cute?"

I unwrapped her first purchased gift in pink wrapping paper; A bottle of perfume for my birthday.

She smiled and waved as she got behind the wheel Of her first car, honking the horn as she left.

"I'm pregnant," her voice cracked On the other end of the phone.

I heard the cries of my first grandchild As I watched her being born;

I held my granddaughter, marveling at her Soft cheeks and perfect little fingers and toes.

I took the gift from my daughter. My grandchild looked up at me and smiled.

"I love you too," I said softly. "Happy Mother's Day."