How Can Love Bring Healing Into Relationships?

A focus on hate in society can be debilitating. Many believe that to stand up for what is right, an argumentative attitude is necessary. Unfortunately, argumentative attitudes only further complicate things. Many mistakenly decide that force may be required to change minds. But like Martin Luther King, Gandhi and other humanists have realized, hate only begets more hate.

In order to find some type of middle ground or resolution, love must be brought into the equation on some level. Why? Following are some great reasons!

1.  Love increases compassion and empathy.  Compassion is defined as "a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune". (Dictionary.com).  When people enter into conflict with a sense of compassion, they feel the pain of their adversary.  It makes them realize how they would feel if they were in their adversary's shoes.  Compassion is essential in bringing about change during times of conflict.  Likewise, empathy, "the psychological identification with feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another" (Dictionary.com) is also essential in bringing about change.  Until we can understand what someone else is going through on a personal level, we truly don't know why change needs to take place.

2.  Love promotes more discussions and less arguments.  How many times have you tried to "get down to business" when anger is coloring your perspective?  Anger is like a flame that burns anyone who gets too close.  Anger is a natural facilitator of arguments.  It is nearly impossible to be objective when the flames of anger are burning bright.  Love, on the other hand, makes us more capable of being objective, thus facilitating more discussions.  And it is possible to have discussions without anger being involved.  It's perfectly okay to agree to disagree-and much healthier than fighting, too!

3.  Love helps us to identify with an adversary's perspective.  When we are able to identify with another human being on the level of humanity itself, anger is automatically driven to the background.  When we realize that we are all essentially searching for the same things on the level of being human, we experience unity and forgiveness.  Unity and forgiveness are critical in bringing about essential, peaceful changes.

4.  Love creates an atmosphere of acceptance.  When the kindness and compassion of love enter any picture, an atmosphere of acceptance is cultivated.  This is a widely understood topic even by giants in the movie industry (like Disney) with thousands of movies being centered around the topic.  Even children's movies (one of my favorites entitled Brave)  speak of not only accepting others but also accepting ourselves....a beautiful mindset with a ton of benefit!

5.  Love reduces pride.  Now don't get me wrong...pride in itself is not a bad thing...unless it is allowed to become the predominating mindset.  An inflated sense of pride causes us to believe that others owe us something.  Some synonyms of pride are conceit, egotism, vanity and vainglory.  (Dictionary.com).  How many times have you tried to reason with someone that is convinced they are overly important and you owe them the world?  It is darned near impossible to reason with people like that.  What is the outcome of vanity and an inflated self concept?  Argument!  And usually arguments with those types of personalities don't turn out very well!

6.  Love increases a sense of value and worth among people.  Let's look at the definition of love.  Perhaps I should have earlier, but the definition proves this point.  Love is "a feeling of warm, personal attachment or deep affection as for a parent, child or friend."  (Dictionary.com). Love is easy when it comes to those closest to us.  It comes naturally.  But when you're talking about your enemy, it can be much trickier.  Love with strangers and acquaintances is a decision, a life style you choose to lead.  It is responding with dignity to someone who you may not necessarily agree with.

I created a quote a while back that said "Lay down your weapons; embrace and be one; Forgiveness will reign when the battle is done."  I got some backlash about this one!  But my meaning behind it was "Treat others with respect, as you would like to be treated.  Only then can you mend broken mindsets and societal patterns."

How can we expect to find peace among the dissension when we aren't even willing to lay our differences aside?  It's impossible.  It will never happen until we make the decision to live with more loving attitudes!

7.  Love increases understanding.  When someone comes to you with a request, you must have a sense of understanding about what they're talking about!  Love cultivates a sense of understanding.  That "aha" moment when we realize what someone else is going through makes all the difference in the world when it comes to us accepting them and being more loving.  Love breaks down barriers, arguments and all forms of hate and prejudice because it allows the beautiful knowledge of understanding to emanate among the souls of those discussing different scenarios and situations!  Understanding definitely diffuses arguments!

8.  Love promotes respect.  The nature of love is the nature of respect.  And the nature of respect requires that respect be given in order for it to be received.  When you respect someone, you care!  You listen, you lend a hand, you really want to make a difference!  That's what love is all about!  It is impossible to say you love someone or want to make things better for them and yourself without experiencing some form of respect.  Respect is a precursor for the kind of caring that meaningful change requires.

9.  Love promotes hope and possibility.  With hate, there is little to no hope involved.  There is pain, anguish and agony.  With love?  Well, there is the hope of a better future because people are willing to discuss problems and understand each  other's situations!  Hate leads to discouragement.  Hope leads to enlightenment!

10.  Love promotes a sense of responsibility.  Hate?  Well, it creates an environment where people feel helpless.  They become despondent and stoop to lower types of emotions and interactions such as apathy, anger and resentment.  Love creates a sense that everyone can make a difference.  When we each believe we can make a difference, our sense of personal responsibility rises.  So what's better for our society?  Helplessness or an increase in caring and personal responsibility?  I think that one is pretty self explanatory!

The truth is we can make a difference.  Each and every one of us.  Even if we only influence one other person for the better, think of the ripple effect that can have on an entire society?  And the reality is, most of us are able to affect more than one other person.  Many of us are able to affect hundreds of people throughout our lives depending on where we work, where we live, who we associate with, where we go, etc.  Love is a powerful force for more reasons than those I just listed above.  If we all make the choice to embrace it, what a beautiful world this would be!

You're Much More Special Than You Think!

Are you aware of the numerous things that make you, you? What would your answer be if I asked you what makes you special? Some of you may look toward the ground and say, "Not much. My fingerprints, I guess." Others may exuberantly proclaim, "Everything about me!" Who's right? Let's explore the topic further!

For those of us with a "Pollyanna perspective", we'd happily exclaim,  "Why, it's my personality and the way I look!  Also the way I think and my unique traits like my fingerprints!"  Crazy thing is, these optimists are correct...and then some.  Not only is our appearance something that sets us apart, but there are other things that do too.

If your argument is "we're all human and we're all alike", you're correct.  But we're all also different and that's the beauty of life.  We are all truly unique.  Not only because of the above reasons but also because of several more.  First, our DNA:  the most important reality of this blog post.  Obviously DNA reigns supreme when it comes to pulling us apart at the seams, quite literally.  DNA evidence obliterated everything when it came to crime scene investigation and litigation.

But what else is there?  Well, our tongues for one.  Because our tongues are kept safely in our mouth (or not so safely, depending on what we talk about), our unique tongue prints are kept intact.  How would that work though, when asking for prints?  Could be a bit challenging....

Then there are our ear lobes.  Instruments have been created to illuminate our earlobes to help in identifying us.  And it's pretty conclusive.  Strange, eh?  I remember my grandmother being obsessed about earlobes....she was obviously onto something....

Many of us probably know about our retinol capillary patterns being individually unique.  Such is the reason for eye scanning equipment in high security areas.  But what about our irises?  Also very unique to each individual because "the color and structure is genetically linked, but the details of the pattern are not".  Hmmm....this gives more meaning to "looking deep into your loved ones' eyes".....

What about how you walk?  Have you ever given thought to the way your body moves?  Well, that's another way to determine individuality!  Not just your legs but your entire body, how you sway and put pressure on your feet, etc.  Makes me wonder about those of us who trip or fall off balance....can that be studied, too?  (Just a joke to make you smile!  Watch out for that rock...!)

Our voices and lip prints are also unique markers of who we are.  I don't know about you, but I can just imagine a police station:  someone comes in and is asked to be lip printed.  I  don't think that would be a fun scenario for the officers on duty.  Do you?  Could make for an interesting day, though.  :)

Judge:  Step forward, please.  I understand you are being held for theft?

Defendant:  Yes, your Honor.

Judge:  Would you care to share your side of the story?

Defendant:  Yes, your Honor.  I walked into the store, leaned against the glass case and left my finger prints.  Then I saw something... an amazing watch in the case.... and looked more closely, accidentally brushing my lips against the glass.  Stunned, I stood up and found myself staring directly into the eyes of the clerk.  As she asked me if she could help me, I cut my finger on the edge of the glass case.  She gave me some kleenex and I wrapped it around my finger, thanking her profusely.  Then she showed me the watch.  I put it on my wrist, starting to walk back and forth in front of a nearby mirror to admire how it shined against my skin.  I tripped over a chair near the mirror and the watch fell off my wrist, landing on the floor and shattering.  I freaked out, went back to the case where the clerk stood with her mouth agape, and offered to pay for the watch.  Flustered, I paid her and then began walking out of the store.  Without thinking, I grabbed a scarf and dabbed my forehead then shoved it in my back pocket.  Immediately, upon leaving the store, I was apprehended.

(This person is doomed!  Not only because of all the evidence left behind, but also because of the security cameras!)  There.  Hope I made you laugh at least a little.  So this has not only been an informative post which I think I could safely call 'Interesting', but also 'Humorous'.  Where will I post it?  Probably 'Interesting'.  But I digress....

As for the point of this post, you are unique for so many ways that it would be pretty much impossible to deny it.  And there are so many intriguing things about you that make you unique that you must admit, there's got to be an overall purpose to this!  So enjoy being you and know that nobody out there can fill your shoes-scientifically or from a humanitarian standpoint. Namaste!

References (Quite Seriously):

Quora:  What Things Are Unique To A Person Besides A Fingerprint?

Medical Daily:  Special Snowflake:  4 Things (Other Than Your Fingerprints) That Make You 1 In 7.2 Billion

What Does Falling In Love Do To Us?

Everyone loves the feeling of being in love. But what does love do to us? To answer that question, I've done some research! First of all, the feeling of love is caused by chemicals in our bodies. Dopamine, vasopressin and cortisol flow in large quantities through our brain, making us feel that "high, fluttery feeling" when we're around the person of our desire. So, technically, love is a drug!  Or maybe better said, love itself is an influencer of bodily (hormonal) drug activity!  (Thought Catalog:  19 Scientifically Proven Ways "Love" Affects Our Bodies Like A Drug.)

You may say, wait!  Cortisol?  I thought that was a stress hormone!  Well, it is.  But...cortisol is also responsible for many good things in body function as well such as controlling blood sugar levels, regulating metabolism and reducing inflammation.  It assists with memory and helps fetuses grown in women during pregnancy.  (That is, if you're still in the lovey dovey phase! (Hormone Health Network:  What Does Cortisol Do?)

Many times people say they feel different when they get involved with a new lover/relationship. And in a way they're onto something.  The hormones present in your body when you're in love create feelings similar to those of people with manic depression.  It is almost as if you could conquer the world.  As if life is different, vibrant and new.     (Thought Catalog:  19 Scientifically Proven Ways "Love" Affects Our Bodies Like A Drug.)

For these reasons, love is a good thing.  But, if we get dumped or break up with our lover, the opposite can happen.  When we are rejected, pain centers in our brain light up when we look at a picture of our ex.  We also can experience having a broken heart ( a real condition called stress induced cardiomyopathy) which has the very extreme and rare possibility of killing its victim.  (Thought Catalog:  19 Scientifically Proven Ways "Love" Affects Our Bodies Like A Drug.)

"Broken heart syndrome" can strike even if you're healthy.   Luckily, though, it isn't common.  The symptoms of stress induced cardiomyopathy are almost identical to those of a heart attack.  It is unknown how many people actually die from this condition but there are eleven documented cases in which Johnny Cash was one of them.  (Thought Catalog:  11 Documented Cases Of People Actually Dying Of A Broken Heart).

Love can heal and it can hurt.  It is my opinion that we are better for having loved because it expands us and enlightens us in our daily existence of being human.  Though the pain can be pronounced, the positive effects are worth the extra effort!

I Think I Can!

Have you ever heard someone tell you to be more positive? Have you been told to try to achieve a more positive attitude? I know I have. Years ago when I was younger I had a horrible attitude. I was negative and felt like nothing would ever go right. My life was rough and it took its toll on me mentally and physically.

But I have changed my attitude. And I'm writing this blog to tell you why you should try to be more positive. There are numerous wonderful reasons for changing your perspective from "I know I can't" to "I think I can"!

Reason #1: It has been said that a positive attitude will increase your life span. Guess what? It has been proven! People with a positive attitude generally live 7 1/2 years longer than people with a negative attitude. What a great incentive right there!

Reason #2: People with a positive attitude have less stress. Not because life sends less stress their way, but because they choose to perceive it in a different manner than negative people. Positive people do what they can to change things and accept what they can't change. They actively participate in life and this gives them a happier perspective.

Reason #3: Positive people deal with hardships more effectively because they realize "this too, shall pass." They know that hardship doesn't last forever and they take little steps each day to bring something positive into their lives during times of hardship. They know how to cope more effectively until better days come by taking responsibility to make good things happen while they are burdened by suffering. Positive people focus on good not bad.

Reason #4:  Positive people have a reduced risk of heart disease!  Stress takes a toll on the heart.  Therefore, less stress equals less heart problems.  Having an attitude of gratitude keeps diseases at bay.

Reason #5:  Positive people have an increased immune system.  As I mentioned above, an upbeat attitude lowers your risk of disease.  Happier people get sick less...even with the common cold!  Happier people produce more antibodies than unhappy people.  They also produce more serotonin-a chemical in the brain-which decreases depression and increases a feeling of well being.

Reason #6:  Positive people age more slowly.  During studies, it was found that positive people stayed mobile and thought more, engaging in frequent tasks that increased memory and body function.  Because they had a "can do" attitude, their bodies responded with "I think I can"!

Like the Little Engine That Could, so are we.  Much is left to our mental state.  If we choose to be positive, we reap the rewards that a positive life brings.  I'd rather have those rewards than sitting around expecting the worst...and getting it!

Resources:

Mayo Clinic:  Healthy Lifestyle:  Stress Management.

Science:  How Stuff Works:  Is There A Link Between Exercise And Happiness?

Scientific American:  How Happiness Boosts The Immune System.

Live Science:  Happier People Keep Healthier As They Age.

The Huffington Post:  Do Positive People Live Longer?

Birthdays

Birthdays are a special time. We are so used to celebrating with cake, friends and family that we usually don't think much past that. But birthdays are so much more. Here is a video I created entitled What Is A Birthday? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg6EVoQ7RcI

Birthdays are a special day because they mark the beginning of our existence.  They are a reminder of how long we've been walking this earth.  Why not take a birthday to another level by making it a "new birth" point for the future?

Think of your dreams and goals.  Your plans.  What have you always wanted to be?  To do?  Why not make a resolution on your birthday to make those things happen?  Reflect on how far you've come then make a pact with yourself to go even farther toward your destiny!  What a wonderful "extra" way to celebrate each year when your birthday rolls around again!

If you know anyone who's having a birthday soon, pass this along!  Maybe they'll be inspired to give it a try!

Hardships Are Stepping Stones To Better Things

Nobody likes hardship. Not only does it put a "kink" in our plans, but it hurts. As human beings, we want to shy away from pain. But hardships are a part of life that we must accept because they'll never go away. Here are some reasons to embrace hardship:

Hardship strengthens our spirits. Although hardship is grueling, it creates resolve in us. It paves the way for our determination to increase. After going through a tough situation, we become more empowered and want even more to accomplish those goals that might have seemed much more difficult to reach before we endured the pressure of hardship. It makes us just a little more resolved to face life with determination.

Hardship makes us appreciate good things more. After going through a spell of extreme discomfort, even the small things seem much more meaningful. For example, even in a situation where your car is in the shop for a week, once you get it back you'll be so much happier that you have a means of transportation. And the bigger the hardship, the greater the appreciation after it's all over.

Hardships give us wisdom.  Think back ten years.  Think about what you've gone through to get to where you are today.  You've got to admit...you've learned a lot!  You're so much wiser for the things you've been through that you can see your hardships as stepping stones to your dreams!

Hardships help us endure.  After you've been through the wringer, you'll have a tendency to say, "I got through that.  I can get through this."  When you get through one trial, you'll have more faith that you'll get through the next one.  It's a matter of learning that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  As the saying goes, "this too shall pass."

Hardships are a way to communicate with others.  We are more empathetic towards other people's pain after enduring hardship.  We relate to each other and are able to be more helpful toward each other after enduring difficult things.

Hardships help to give us freedom.  Many times hardships have to do with things we fear.  After going through the problem, we become a little less fearful.  Like the Little Engine That Could, so are we when we walk through the fire and come out a little freer from our pain and fear.  That's a beautiful stepping stone to future success and happiness!

Next time life gets rough, remember:  you'll learn a lot and be happier once you graduate from the test.  You'll be stronger, wiser, more determined, more empathetic and appreciative!  All perfect ways to be more successful in the future!

In Order To Be Successful You Have To Be Reliable

So many times we dream about things we could do or be, only to give in too easily to despair and hardships on our journey. If we really want to succeed, we need to remain reliable to our dreams and ourselves through the good times and bad. Setbacks happen to everyone making success seem like smoke on the horizon...something we think we see but we're unsure of how to go about achieving it. Or we know how to achieve it and stumbling blocks shorten and delay our stamina. To succeed, we must keep our dreams just ahead of us and continue to strive, to be reliable!

We hear overnight success stories and they do happen from time to time.  More often though, we have to work tediously and slave for our dreams to become a reality.  I am reminded of the saying "nothing in this world worth having comes easy."  The seemingly overnight success stories often are built on a platform of hard work behind the scenes.  Even the singer who wins the reality show has spent years perfecting his/her voice.  Overnight success is rare.  Very rare.

Never give up.  Unreliability and irresponsibility will kill a dream every time.  Believe in yourself and know you can achieve whatever you believe you can.  Then, if you persevere, chances are you will succeed...if you don't give up.

And never be afraid to lend someone else a helping hand.  You never know when the favor will come full circle to bless you in the end!

Finding Peace

Deep down in the heart of every person is the desire to be at peace. The beauty of peace is an innate craving. We try and try to find things that will give us peace. True peace can only be found in God.

The world says that we'll be at peace when we achieve this or that or when we win this or that. That type of satisfaction is temporary. No matter how many mountains we climb, how many things we achieve, how many dollars we make, it will not bring us lasting peace.

Peace is an experience devoid of anxiety; an experience of fulfillment without reason. What do we have to do to find true peace? In reality, the only thing we can do is connect with our Source...the one who created us to begin with. We crave a relationship with God. That's why we try to find true love in another fallible human being. The only "true" love that exists is the love of the one who made us. The reason being? None of us is perfect. We all fall short and let each other down sooner or later. So how can peace exist in such an environment?

It can't hinge on our surroundings. Our surroundings are always changing. They're unpredictable, unreliable. Peace can't thrive in such a state. Peace depends on the solidity of faith and a power much greater than reason; hence, a state of being which will supercede our everyday existence. Peace is a quandary for the seeker. It can seem like a state that doesn't really exist. But if you look in the right place, you'll find it.

It's a spiritual undertaking: a quest. And when you finally enter its beautiful state of rest, you'll never be the same. People have found it and learned to treasure it more than their everyday life experiences. The truly beautiful aspect of peace comes when you learn to cultivate your everyday life into its wonderful concept. When you're truly living "peace on earth and goodwill toward men", what could possibly be better?

From my viewpoint, not much!

Living In Love Doesn't Mean Being A Doormat!

To revere peace and love, we are told to live in love and have a good attitude. That is a wonderful way to live but we also need to know our boundaries in that type of lifestyle.

Too many times we think that living in love means to allow others to walk all over us...to be a doormat. In reality, it means to have a loving attitude and to help out any way we can...with limits.

Once the relationship becomes abusive or we are being used for the benefit of others, there is no shame in walking away.  In fact, walking away is setting a healthy boundary for us to continue to be loving people.  The key is:  walking away with a good attitude.  In order to do this, we must walk away before our anger is ignited because we have allowed others to use us in our process of trying to be loving, caring people.

So....once your good has worn out its welcome in a situation (as it very commonly does)...walk away!  And don't feel bad about doing it!  Because you will soon find yourself facing another situation where your love is needed to be passed along.  And if you allow yourself to be used, you will be too weary to continue on your journey.

Take care and God Bless!

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Pain Is An Activist

Are you someone who has felt a great amount of pain during your life? Are you in pain right now? I'm talking about every type of pain that exists: mental, physical, spiritual and every other type of pain that you can name.

As a species in general, we try to shy away from pain. I do it as much as the next guy. Let's face it. Pain sucks. No matter what you're experiencing, it's tough to see any good in it at all. But the truth is there IS good in pain. It just takes a lot of guts to acknowledge it.

I just recently saw a post stating that "we are continually faced with great opportunities disguised as insolvable problems" (AmpLIFEied.com).  What a way to look at it!  Our insolvable problems...the ones we can't seem to figure out that keep us on a hamster's treadmill are our great opportunities...WOW!  If you tell the wrong person about this philosophy, you could end up with a harsh slap to the face!  But is it true?  I believe it is.

As someone who has been faced with thousands of seemingly unsolvable problems, I'm a first hand witness to the emotional throwback of such a statement.  When we've been through a million and one things, the last thought on our mind is, "Oh, great!  Another wonderful opportunity wrapped up in anguish!  Yay!"  When in reality, it is a great opportunity...to GROW into a better person.

Is it really worth the pain?  In the end, yes.  But during the daily fight of turmoil and angst it can almost drive you to insanity.  You have to keep holding onto the hope that some time it will bring blessings beyond comprehension.  But in the meantime, check that temper!  Continually let go of that anxiety!  Growth is never easy but it always brings us to more peaceful understandings of our lives and situations.  Isn't that what life is about?  To learn as you move through your experiences?

As you examine your current condition, whether it be mental, physical, spiritual or some other type of angst, look at what seems unsolvable.  The truth is, there is always a solution but sometimes we fail to see it or we don't want to see it.  What ending will the solution bring?  Does it add to your life or take away from it?  Many times the process of taking away adds bigger things down the line.  Do you have the guts to walk through the fire?  To deal with the cards that you've been dealt?  Bad things happen to good people.  It's true.  You have no choice in the matter.  But you do have a choice as to how you will respond to tragedy.

Keep the faith.  Hold onto hope.  You'll make it through and some day you'll be a better person for your pain.  I know it's tough, but don't ever give up the fight!  Even if it's debilitating, it will cause you to grow in ways you've never imagined.

Life Is Short. Live It Well!

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw87X_wQWow

Each of us thinks that we have all the time in the world to do what we want to with our lives. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. The clock of time is constantly ticking, urging us forward second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. The days have a way of turning into months and the months have a way of turning into years. Soon we are left wondering about where all our time went...if we're lucky enough to have that much time.

Each of us has a purpose to find and fulfill. Sometimes (many times), that purpose can take years to figure out. So make the most of the time you have. Try not to engage in worry or hatred, fear or torment to the best of your ability. These things only steal more of your time. And if you are forced to deal with these things as most of us are, take wisdom away from the experience so that they can enrich the process of finding your purpose. You only have one life to live. Live it well!

Learning How To Heal

When I was afflicted by the pain and torment of my past, it seemed like I would never be able to heal. For years I wondered if healing was even possible. It seemed like a mountain that I couldn't climb...as if my pain was too great to even fathom the ability to overcome it.

Had I known that healing truly was possible, I would have had more hope.  My faith was low, my hope even lower.  I asked numerous people who knew of my circumstance if I could ever come out victorious from my situation.  The most hopeful response I received was  "maybe."

When you're in the depths of despair for years, surrounded by very few people who are supportive, "maybe" isn't a good answer.  The word "maybe" caused my despair to deepen.  But by the magic of God's healing, I eventually overcame my situation.

This is a video I created about what I learned regarding healing.  It's not as elusive as it seems. In fact, it is possible to heal from the type of trauma I endured.  If you're in a period of suffering, please take a moment to watch my video.  And know that you, too, can achieve happiness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSTodkF-c0o

My colored pencil piece entitled Tree Of Healing

I created this piece years ago when I was in the process of healing from my trauma. While I was creating it, I felt like the tree above the soil; empty, alone and devoid of life. I had faith that things would get better, but I didn't know how long it would take. I reminded myself to be patient. Eventually, I began to feel like the roots of the tree. I was filled with God's love and found my purpose for living. Thus, this simple piece was born.

I have this drawing for sale on Fine Art America and Red Bubble.  Here is the description I created for this piece as seen on both sites:

To the parched soul, God's light brings healing and oneness.  The only way to wholeness and completion is being joined with God in His heavenly light and breath.  God shines His light upon us and it is up to our own individual discretion as to whether we receive Him or not.  Reception of Him grows in us strong roots of love.

If you are unfamiliar with my story, I have it written in my book Breaking The Silence.  It is a fictional account (because names and places have been changed) of my life.  It is true and it is what I experienced.  My art reflects the stages I've been through in my journey of healing.  I hope you enjoy this simple yet heartfelt piece.

Best wishes and blessings,

Diamante

Notes From My April Newsletter!

In case you're not on my mailing list, here is the highlight from my April newsletter! If you like it, feel free to subscribe to my mailing list here on my website! I'd love to get to know you!

Rebirth. Rejuvenation. Regeneration. All are aspects of spring. It is a time of beginnings and growth. But no new beginning is without its pain and learning.

Just as the flowers peep forth from the soil, so new attitudes and thought processes peep forth from our psyche. In order to have regeneration, we must have conflict and resolution. It's just part of the process.

Many times we try our best to avoid the pain. It is a natural tendency to want to run and hide when pain rears its ugly head. But if we try to remember that with pain comes new realizations and possibilities, the pain won't loom so large and ugly on our horizons.

It's all about acceptance. There are so many things that we can't control in life. Death, bills, accidents, trauma, even birth and things that we perceive to be good things can bring on the winds of turmoil. And if we dig our heels in and refuse to admit and accept that these things are happening, it will cause us to suffer even more needlessly than we already are.

There is a gift in acceptance. The gift of awareness and humility. If we allow the winds of life to blow as they will and we bend with their gusts, we will find ourselves more able to deal with the changes that come. Resistance does not give birth to resilience. Acceptance does.

When times get rough, don't resist. Think of all the tiny seeds in your yard that are working so hard to peep up above the soil. They may have to battle rocks and clay, stuck amidst hard clumps of grass. It is no easy task for a seed to emerge from the ground. And then there is always the possibility that an animal may eat the seedling or a human may step on it. Even so, the seed continues to grow wrapped in God's love and care.

May your April be one of acceptance and rebirth so that you can discover new horizons in the future!

My newest creation! Counteract Every Negative Thought!

Here is my most recent inspirational quote, brought on by some hard days that I've gone through. I made this quote to remind myself and to inspire others! The last few days (the last week, actually) has been tough. In order to counteract a bad attitude, I started stating a blessing or something I was grateful for in response to every negative thought that went through my head. It helped a lot!

If you know someone who is going through a tough time right now, feel free to share this quote with them. It will help to spark some positive energy in their heart and give them hope that tomorrow will be a better day!

Just remember...this too shall pass!

Where you can find Counteract Every Negative Thought:

Fine Art America:  http://fineartamerica.com/featured/counteract-every-negative-thought-diamante-lavendar.html

Red Bubble:  http://www.redbubble.com/people/diamantelavenda/works/21565110-counteract-every-negative-thought-by-diamante-lavendar?p=photographic-print

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~My newest creation: Find Something To Laugh About!~

Life happens. It happens to all of us whether we're ready or not....kind of like playing hide and seek! We can try to hide, but life will seek us and hunt us down, taking us along for the ride!

My newest creation speaks of maintaining a sense of humor through it all. It's easy to have humor on good days. But it's also very important to have humor on bad days as well. Humor actually helps us through hardship and is essential in our well being.

This is a concept I've learned the hard way. Some of you know my story. Others of you aren't familiar with it. I wrote a book about it entitled Breaking The Silence. Through my life, I've learned that humor is a necessary element in healing and staying happy.

Please feel free to come back and visit again to read my quote. Or save it to your computer. I'd love to have it inspire you at times when you really need it.

Blessings, Diamante

~Letter Of Intent #2 by Diamante Lavendar~

Letters Of Intent are ways to focus on increasing your power and perspective in life.  Here's Letter #2:

The time is NOW to rise and shine.  The time is always NOW.

People persist in believing in yesterday and tomorrow, but those are only illusions.  NOW is all we have.  NOW is all there is.  That is why many people experience a delay in achieving their dreams.  They look for answers in yesterday and tomorrow.  And while some answers may be found in those places, they must be applied to NOW.  Because NOW is the timetable of life.

Take the lessons from yesterday, take the dreams from tomorrow and plant them in NOW.  It is the only way to truly thrive in your life journey.  The moment you're in means everything.

Blessings,

Diamante

Letter Of Intent #1 by Diamante Lavendar

I am starting another new aspect of my blog! It is called Letters Of Intent. This is the first letter. Others will follow at random. But I suspect there will be quite a few over time!

Letter Of Intent #1:

Life is a poem: a living of pen to paper. The backdrops of our lives are the papers and we are the pens; creating, moving through space to find a meaning to our existence.

Intent is life's purpose. It is up to us whether we allow our intent to be pure or corrupted. In each of us is a possibility of both. What matters is the voice we heed.

Find your intent and you will find your purpose. Accomplish your goals and you will achieve your dreams!

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Love

This was a write up in my February newsletter I recently published.  My editor loved it (she is also my friend.)  She encouraged me to put it on my blog, which I have now done.  I hope it helps you to find more peace and meaning in your life.

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Love. We've heard so much about it during our lives. "It is more blessed to give than to receive." "Treat others as you would like to be treated." "True love keeps no record of wrongs." These things are all very true but sometimes hard to achieve.

Everyone is tested. We endure fiery trials of one form or another. The trick is to always bring it back to a loving attitude at the end of the day. How is that possible in some instances? Sometimes, only by the power of God Himself is it possible.

I have suffered, as some of you know, through differing forms of abuse. I have felt like I had nothing left to give, like everything had been taken from me. And yet, I was expected to love. If you've read my book Breaking The Silence, you know my story. It has been excruciating...and still is sometimes to this very day. The best advice I can give is do your best in the time given. Ten years ago, my best wasn't as good as it was five years ago. And five years ago, it wasn't as good as it is now. I still have a long way to go, but as long as I'm on my way, I know it will continue to get better day by day.

Don't beat yourself up if you have trouble being loving. Especially at times when you are hurting. Nobody is perfect and nobody can be 100% loving 100% of the time. It's not a human capability. Luckily, God is there to hold your heart in His hands as He molds and makes you into who you really are made to be as you progress through your existence on this planet. Humans are frail and fallible. But we are also very capable of learning. So keep that in the forefront of your mind. Do the best in the day you are given.

And be forgiving. Forgive yourself and others for not consistently living up to difficult standards. Sometimes the best way to show love is to forgive. And to know perfection is not attainable. Once you let go of "should, must, have to" it gets a little easier to be a loving person.

February is a time of hearts and candy and flowers. Those are all wonderful, but it is my experience that the expectations we put on ourselves and others are the most primary causes of either happiness or disappointment. So remember, we're all here to learn and grow. Enjoy it as much as you can without beating yourself up over it at the same time!

Happy February! May every day this month be your Valentine's Day!

The Joy Of Christmas

**Originally posted on Fred Warren's blog at**

 https://frederation.wordpress.com/2015/12/14/the-joy-of-christmas-by-diamante-lavendar/

Christmas has always been a special time for me. As a kid and as a “grownup”. When I was younger, I would wait for the festivities of Christmas with “baited breath”. I loved the decorations and the tree, the stockings and the carols. But the greatest thing about Christmas to me was the “feeling.”

When I was very young, I would attempt to describe “the Christmas feeling” to my parents. They never really understood just exactly what I meant. They would look at me rather vacantly and say things like, “That’s nice. I’m happy you’re happy.”

But it was always so much more than that…happiness. It was an internal glow, a peace, a feeling of goodwill among men. Of course as a child I was unable to explain these complicated emotions. But I felt them. Fully. And they made me feel more alive than I ever could have explained…until I became a “grownup”.

Christmas is more than a season. Or a holiday. To me, it’s a frame of mind…a way of living. It is truly embodying the concept of, “Peace on earth…goodwill toward men.” It is beautiful. It is invigorating. It is a newness of life and attitude.

Christmas happens any time a random act of kindness occurs. It happens every time someone pays it forward. Christmas, no matter the time of year, comes alive whenever we think of others as much or more than we think of ourselves. It comes when we extend our boundaries to include the happiness of family and strangers. In my life, the most beautiful moments that I remember are moments when I was able to make a difference…to help someone in some way. To me, that is true Christmas.

I hope that by example I am able to extend Christmas every day of the year in some sort of way. I love the notion of “being Christmas” to my family, friends, and even those I don’t know. It is a tall order, but a wonderful goal to reach toward.

Perhaps as you read this, you will find yourself considering the feeling of Christmas…perhaps even living the feeling on a day-to-day basis. I can only imagine the ripple effect of beauty that “living the feeling” could bring to all of us who find ourselves sharing this earth together. What a grand scheme of things that would indeed create!

May you feel the peace, love and joy all year long, not just this holiday season!