Life has been hard but life has also been good. I have gone through things I never thought I could handle. I’m still standing. I think besides the greatest thing I’ve come to know-the love of God and Spirit, the second greatest thing I have learned is that hardship can work for good if you just have faith.

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For those of you who know my story, please humor me over the next paragraph. For those of you who aren’t familiar with my story, I will suffice to say that life has been rough. I’ve gone through abuse of numerous kinds, substance abuse, the death of two children and suicidal tendencies as a result of the pain that has rocked my life even up until recently. I am happy to say, though, that I have made the decision to move forward in the honor of my children’s memories and most of all, in the honor of my heavenly Father who so graciously saved them from the fate of death. It’s been a long, trying, at times desperate road, but I choose to walk the rest of the way in as much peace and love as I can muster. The perspective of being a help to others keeps me motivated too. Which brings me to the topic of this blog post: my extreme gratefulness for the awards I’ve won for my books.

My books are written about the pain that I’ve been through. I was hesitant to start writing about my life but I have found that in the three books I have penned thus far, the lessons I’ve learned and shared in my poetry and prose have blessed other people. I had no idea they would be so well received. It is a bittersweet yet beautiful opportunity that I’ve had to experience the effect my writing has had on others. To date, I have won 30 awards for my three published books. I can’t even describe how that makes me feel. So much pain has gone into the pages of these books, including the memory of my most recent child’s death. Before she passed, she convinced me to write Breaking The Silence. Because of her that book is published. I also penned Poetry and Ponderings while she was still with me and we were waiting expectantly to see how that book would help others as well. Unfortunately, she left me before Poetry and Ponderings was published.

To all of you who have gone through trauma and grief, know that you are not alone. Also know that there is a possibility for a brighter day on the horizon. It is with great respect to you and hope that you can find strength to move on that I accept these awards. Because it has not only changed my life but also those of you who have contacted me or left reviews regarding my words that you have read. I will never take these things for granted because I believe that we are all here for a reason, together for a purpose and destined to do something wonderful that will help each other and the world around us to thrive. I pray we will all grow in Spirit and fulfill our destinies. Because that is the end result which will change everything for the better.

God bless!

She Was Her Daughter's Example

"Why are you always gone? Who are you with? Who are you REALLY with?" she hissed at him, her eyes glaring.

"I'm with my friend Mark! I told you this!" he answered, his voice cocky as he withdrew and went to lay down on their bed.

"I'm sick of this crap!" she retorted, following him into the bedroom. "You're always gone! And you say you're with Mark but I don't believe you!"

"Well, believe it," he snapped at her. "I'm done talking."

Deep in her heart, she knew it was a lie. She stood and stared at him as he rolled over on the bed and faced the wall. It was 3:00 in the morning. He had been gone all night just like the night before and the night before that. It had been going on for weeks.

"You don't work, you don't help out at all! I'm the only one trying!" she stated, her voice shaking.

His lack of response was customary. He lay with his face toward the wall with his eyes closed.

She turned, her baby crying in the next room. She went to her daughter and picked her up out of her crib.

"Watch her while I take a shower," she said to him as she walked back into the bedroom and lay her daughter next to him.

"I'm tired," he told her, his voice icy.

"I don't care! You've been gone all night again! Take her!"

He rolled over and grabbed his daughter and pulled a blanket over them both. She continued to cry.

"She wants a bottle. Go make one," he informed her.

She turned around and went to the kitchen, making a bottle. Then she brought it back to him and he fed the baby.

"I'm taking a shower."

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind her. She turned on the water and sat on the toilet and cried. Her tears fell on the floor in puddles and her heart ached. She wanted to end her life, but she knew her daughter needed her.

"Why?" she asked quietly between sobs. "How did I get into this situation?"

Everything around her became blurry as she focused on her tears dropping on the floor. "I just want to be happy. That's all."


Can you relate to this scenario? Do you need a change in your life? Do you feel the need to escape? If so, don't give up. Happiness is attainable. Just change your focus and resolve to make your life better. You are only in charge of yourself, you can't control the actions of others.


She wiped away her tears and blew her nose. "I can do this. I can do anything I set my mind to." She whispered the words to herself, allowing them to sink into her heart. "Tomorrow is a new day. A day to start fresh."

As she left the bathroom and stared in on him sleeping with their daughter, she decided that this was the first day of the rest of her life. If he didn't repent of his actions, she would make sure he left. She had to be strong for herself and her daughter. After all, she was her daughter's example.