Do you ever wonder why we cry? So often we believe that tears are a sign of weakness. Have you ever been told that you’re a “crybaby”? Unfortunately our society devalues tears. However, tears are actually cleansing. If you’ve been through trauma, tears are a good thing. They help us purge negative emotions and thoughts. Tears need to be felt, released and then understood. Tears can be a misguiding influence at times if we feel the pain, cry and continue to be stuck in it. But if we feel the pain, cry and learn from it tears are a beautiful thing.
It is actually a sign of strength to show weakness. It is so easy to hide from hardship instead of having the approach of learning from it. When times get down and dirty, like death, divorce or financial distress, it can be so easy to get mad and want to get even. It takes great strength to feel the pain, learn from it and move on. I can almost hear you asking, “How do you move on when someone dies?” My answer: you learn from the situation, decide to be grateful for what you had and make the most out of your future to honor that situation.
When my children passed, I wanted to be angry. And I was for quite a while. But then I knew that I had to find good in the heartbreak and use that wisdom to move forward in becoming a better person any way that I felt I was being led to do so. And out of their loss came my books and my art. It was an outlet for me to not only help myself but to also help others who have experienced the same types of things head on. And when I was reeling from the effects of being abused and molested, I knew I had to find a way to make some good come out of all the agony and negativity. That was another reason why I wrote my books, talking about my life and healing journey to help myself and others. Gut wrenching pain like that needs to be acknowledged. And the journey of healing needs to be shared so that others affected by the strain and pain of difficulty can know that there is hope for better days to come.
This life isn’t easy. For anyone. Some go through more than others but the struggle of pain is universal. When we understand why we cry and why God gave us tears in the first place, we know that He wants us to learn from hardship the truth of His reality. He’s in the healing business. He’s in the business of growth and understanding. When we experience trouble,. we gain wisdom and insight not only into ourselves and others but also life in general. This world is a place to stretch and expand into a more loving, creative version of ourselves in His image. And with His depth of character and wisdom, the most effective way I have learned was through the pain I suffered. Fun is great and success is amazing but we can’t be “well rounded” beings without understanding both the valleys and the mountains. I believe God gave us tears, in His great mercy, to empower us to withstand those lessons. So if you’re having a particularly difficult time processing your pain, try the stance of being grateful for your tears. That in itself is an empowering lesson!
“Why Did You Leave Me?” available here.