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Everything in life seems so important, sometimes dire-until we look at the big picture. The big picture keeps everything in its proper perspective.
Here is my digital art piece entitled Life In A Nutshell. It's a great reminder to keep yourself focused on what's really important.
https://diamante-lavendar.pixels.com/featured/life-in-a-nutshell-diamante-lavendar.html
Everybody talks about having a clear conscience. Teachers tell their students to act conscientiously, ministers teach about conscious behavior, counselors guide their clients on how to be more conscientious and society itself praises upstanding, conscientious behavior. It's something we should focus on it because it is important.
In this article, I will touch upon why it is important from a personal standpoint to have a clear conscience. This is a topic I've worked on most of my life and it's probably a topic you've heard about in one way or another for most of yours too. So here goes!
First, having a clear conscience lifts you up energetically. Everybody knows that when they do bad things, they feel bad. They perceive life in a much more negative way. When you know you're doing things for the right reasons it lifts you up. It makes you feel better about yourself and life in general. A clear conscience is a pathway to more happiness in life.
Second, a clear conscience facilitates peace. We all know the feeling of having done wrong, of having said negative things to ourselves and others. When we come from a negative viewpoint, the result is a negative outlook. Once we do the right thing for the right reasons and live positively according to what we do and say, we are much more peaceful. It's a natural process and a great way to live.
Third, a clear conscience promotes healing. Have you ever tried to feel better while negativity swirls through your mind and heart? It's not an easy process. When we feel crappy, we act crappy. When we have guilt over our actions or motives we live on a level of dis-ease in all types of forms. A clear conscience gives us the ease and peace we desire, therefore facilitating health and healing.
Another reason why having a clear conscience is awesome is that it opens us up for new possibilities. Why? Because when we clear negativity and turmoil from our lives, peace moves in and we think more about our dreams, our goals and our perception of things. When we are in a space of openness mentally and spiritually, we are more aware of beautiful people and things around us. Therefore we are more awakened to bigger and better things.
Number five touches on the same idea. A clear conscience opens us up to our hopes and dreams. Not only because we are more aware of things around us but also because we are in a more positive space. We are more readily able to dream and facilitate actions that will bring our dreams into reality.
Another great reason why a clear conscience is a beautiful thing is that a clear conscience will bring you freedom. How? Because you're not stuck in the muck of "should've, would've, could've" and false beliefs. Negativity clouds the conscious mind like black smog. If you spend time contemplating false belief systems, (things like, "I've been hurt so badly I'll never recover" or "My life has been so hard I'll never be happy"), you'll see very easily understand why clarity of your conscience will bring you freedom. If you embrace forgiveness, love and the possibilities of good things happening to you, you will feel much lighter. As if a breeze of peace blew into your consciousness. You'll get a taste of freedom and you'll be addicted to it!
Lastly, a clear conscience allows you to change your belief systems. And that's a biggie when it comes to the pursuit of happiness! If you're feeling guilty, tied down by negativity, shameful and angry, you naturally feel that life is bad. You are depressed and downtrodden and believe things will never change. However, when you turn the tables on your mental processes and start doing things for the right reasons and motivations, you will feel the upswing of positivity begin to flow in your life. And as your conscience clears, VOILA! You suddenly have renewed hope and vigor! You believe you can change your beliefs. And that needs to happen before your beliefs will ever change.
A clear conscience is a beautiful thing and requires work. But there are so many benefits to living in that type of mentality that it's worth all the work that's required. So face your demons, put them to rest and begin the process of conscious living! You will be eternally grateful that you did!
The first question you may have is, "What is a core belief?" Well, a core belief is something you've grown up with. Something you believe defines you as a person or defines the world in which you live. Many times core beliefs aren't easy to identify. They hide in our subconscious minds and sabotage us when we try to make changes in our lives. Core beliefs are things you learned to believe as truth when you were a child. Core beliefs are set up by the age of six when a person's personality has formed. Therefore, it is hard to come to terms with them-even to figure out what they are- without doing a lot of introspective work.
Many people dive into the topic of self healing with gusto. They read books, think a lot about what they've gone through and meditate. These are all great things to do when you're looking to make changes. But finding core beliefs is digging into your self talk at a fundamental survival level. It is stripping everything in your life, personality and belief system down to the core to find out what really makes you tick. The things you find at that deep personal level are your core beliefs.
Let me explain. Recently, (a year and a half ago), my youngest child passed away. It was devastating. It threw me into a state of questioning about my very existence. It made me realize that everything I thought I knew was a facade-a man made explanation for how the world worked and what went on behind the scenes spiritually. It also caused me to come to terms with the fact that I had a lot of changing to do. I went on a quest of sorts to examine my life and my theories of living. That quest brought me back to my childhood-to the time when I was in the birth to six stage. Once I began meditating and looking deeply into what made me tick, I began to realize things about myself that I had never paid much attention to: the core beliefs that directed my behaviors and reactions. That was an eye opening journey!
Never did I realize the impact my core beliefs had on my existence. It seems to be something we overlook because they are so deeply buried under everything we've been through. Prejudices we've inherited from our families, false beliefs we've clung to as truth because of what we've been told, observations we've made because of who we've been surrounded by when we were young-these are the core beliefs I'm talking about. These beliefs have profound impacts on us because they are our built in survival instincts, whether true or false, surrounding how we live and what we do. And much of the time they're wrong. For instance, I was molested by extended family members from the ages of two to twelve. I thought I had dealt with the issue fully but I realized I had not. I still was internally waging war with a core belief that I was not safe. It is strange how we can gloss over such important issues as easily as wiping a dirty table. We figure as long as we can't see the dirt the problem is over. That couldn't be more untrue! If you're feeling dis-ease about anything in this life, it's time to do some deep, heavy introspection until you come to the belief system behind it. Because you will find a core belief to blame for every dis-ease you encounter. If you want to be a ninja in the game of life, it is up to you to find the underlying cause for every case of dis-ease you feel. And when you become your life ninja, you will find it. And it will free you! That is why it is so important to dig deep into your subconscious. Every lie you expose will bring you more glorious freedom! And isn't freedom and peace what you really crave deep down? Along with meaning and purpose?
I think those are the most important attributes that every person strives for. If you identify every false core belief, you will find yourself building more and more prosperous attributes in every aspect of your life. So be a ninja and begin your journey today!
Some societies are concerned with names. Others not so much. But I believe that most of us know how important a name is. It is our brand-for life. The meaning of a name has an impact on the bearer.
Over the years I have come to believe that a name is vital to who we become and what we do with our lives. A name can inspire-for good and for bad. That is why I thought so carefully before naming my children. I am convinced that the first most important "brand" we give our kids is their name.
That being said, I also believe that society "brands" or "titles" people in ways that are less than beneficial. Labels, even if given with good intent, can cause pain. "ADHD, bipolar, depressive, obese, withdrawn", and so forth, do carry stigma which a person tends to take on over time. I do realize there must be a form of terminology to categorize certain things. But I believe it is better to let the bearer know it is not a badge or a sentence. It is only a way to help.
I love the people in society who have taken up this cause. Our words affect us whether we speak them ourselves or someone else speaks them over our lives. Words have an effect into our deepest belief systems. Words are important. They can heal and they can destroy.
My youngest child was born with a syndrome. She looked different from other people because of how her body was proportioned. People made fun of her. It was heartbreaking. But she was a spiritual power pack. Though she felt the brunt of their criticisms, she shook it off and kept on living. She was an amazing person. She ended up succumbing to her disease two weeks before the age of 19. I bragged about her because she was so tough-in a loving, living type of way. Though she was in pain it didn't stop her. Though others threw verbal barrages at her, she didn't quit. She told me she understood that they were in pain and she didn't let it sink into her soul. She was someone I greatly looked up to. An amazing person.
Over the years that I've been on this planet, I've been assaulted by many names or titles given me by doctors, family members and even some "friends". We all have. It's the way society speaks for the larger part of the population. Awareness has to be created regarding labeling and titles. I am very grateful for the lightworkers who have worked so hard to bring understanding to this topic. It is critical in the building up of each individual person as well as the totality of society itself. Watching what we say, what we brand each other, is vitally important. Light begets light. Love begets love. To inspire and to lift up is one of the main priorities we must embrace to bring ourselves and each other to a life of redemption and wisdom. And when we are living that life, we are extending understanding, mercy, grace and compassion on others as well as ourselves. We are branding each other as "valuable light beings with important purposes to share." What a beautiful, amazing world this would be if we all held that truth in our hearts. It would be a utopia, a meeting of heaven and earth, a unity never before known on this planet.
My humble submission would be this: to grow to love and understand ourselves in such a way that we can extend that love and understanding to others. Then we could brand each other with the truth: that we are, each and every one of us, worthwhile and capable of being our very best under the watchful eyes of spirit. Flowing as beautiful particles in a single ocean together with plan and purpose. Promoting good, peace and love. Then not only would we be happier and feel more worthwhile, but we could deal more successfully with the hardships this life brings.
Let's face it. This life isn't easy. There is much to learn, much to conquer. How much better we could learn and conquer in an attitude of gratitude, an attitude of compassion. I make this my personal mission. I pray you make it yours as well.
Namaste.
(Late Night Fairy Flight by Diamante Lavendar)
Dimension means a measurable unit of space. This dimension occupies a space-but only a tiny space as compared to the universe. This dimension demands attention. But usually we give it the wrong attention. This dimension demands that we take heed of its specifications. However, we need to learn that its specifications-in a large way- are brought about by our beliefs. What we believe comes true-good and bad. We directly affect ourselves and our personal space in this dimension according to what our core beliefs are. That is why we must carefully guard our hearts and minds. Of course, the constraints and freedoms we experience in our lives here are also spiritually determined. There is a path we have chosen to take that we find ourselves walking day after day. Our beliefs affect that path moment by moment, day by day, year by year. Therefore it is important to believe in good so that we end up in a good place-if not here, after our game here is over. This is true regardless of what has happened to us. If our lives have been harsh then how much more do we need to believe in good! Earth is a learning ground. We've all come here to grow. If we grow tall in light and love despite our circumstances, we are winning the game of this dimension. Because, after all, "life" here IS just a game. But an important game. A game, if played right, of growth and wisdom. The stronger we are-the more able we are to live according to love and light-the more we evolve. Hardship is the greatest teacher. If you're experiencing great hardship, you're learning invaluable lessons that will help you evolve into love, light and truth. Embrace it to the best of your ability. After all is said and done, when you're standing in the light of eternity, you will understand that this life has only been a game of learning. So play it well. You'll be really glad you did!
Learning how to make lemonade from life's lemons is a test. It is hard, it takes grit and determination. It is not for the faint hearted. When I think of the tragedies people have experienced while on this earth it hurts and it humbles me. I myself have suffered deeply. So I can empathize with the pain that others experience. I have come to believe that the strongest warriors are those that are able to make sweet lemonade from the hardships of life. Through death, divorce, illness, mental pain, and other agonies, the people who rise up and stand tall and true are the heroes of life. I call them the peaceful warriors. Those able to cry freely in the face of angst and oppression. My hat is off to all of you. You are a mentor to me. I pray I may also be a mentor to others as I suffer the travails of having been abused, buried several children and dealt with other hardships. Life can be agony. But at the end of the day when we are reunited with our loved ones in heaven, we will finally be at peace. Namaste. Ride the winds of life with mercy, grace and understanding. You will be rewarded in the end.
Freedom. A word that we love. Personal freedom, financial freedom, business freedom. And of course, historical freedom. I come from America, the land of the free. The idea of freedom is hypnotizing. But freedom comes at a price. In order to be free, we have to be decimated: decimated on a personal level. For some of us that means financial decimation. For others that means mental decimation. For many that means decimation on all levels. Those are the people who really end up experiencing freedom.
I define decimation as being ground to a pulp; as being brought to a state of complete questioning; being in a state of total disrepair. People who are decimated are people who's preconceived notions have been ground to fine powder; people whose assumptions and ideals have been challenged to a point where they are no longer sure of what's true and real. Those are the people who are forced to look around and see the world anew-to understand that they know nothing of truth and that freedom comes only from learning the truth.
Many times we think we know what freedom is-until we are decimated. Then we pick ourselves up from the dust and rubble and realize we really didn't even know what we were talking about in the first place. True freedom isn't money, power and prestige. True freedom isn't winning at the sake of causing others to lose. True freedom is peace and happiness. How many of us can say we are truly happy? Most of us believe happiness hinges on what happens in our lives day to day. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Happiness is a peace-an internal knowing of truth-on the inside of us that doesn't change with the tide of life. It's knowing who we really are, where we came from, what we are here to do-and being okay with that-despite who and what is happening around us. It's our purpose, our mission, our true selves hiding beneath the flesh and bones of our bodies. It's our eternal identities.
Our nation was decimated by war before we became free. And now as we look around, we see that once again we are being ground into fine power to awaken from the lies surrounding us to seek freedom again. We've lost ground-we've forgotten how much we had to lose to gain what we sought so readily. We've forgotten who we really are. So now we're being forced to lose what we thought we had gained in order to learn how to acquire what we all want and need with renewed vision. In all honesty, if we could wake up again and call ourselves 'one nation under God' we'd be accomplishing a lot. Oneness is part of freedom as is our eternal truth. This knowledge is part of the life learning process in coming to grips with what freedom really means. Unfortunately it seems life runs in circles. Cycles of loss and gain. Being ground into a fine powder to destroy assumptions, prejudices and preconceived notions is a way of coming to freedom and truth. We are all born, live lives that teach us truth and then we graduate to heaven to see what this earth has really taught us. How do we learn? Hardship and pain.
Do you feel like you've been ground into fine powder? That you don't know who you are anymore or what the truth is versus the lies? If you do you're in good company. It's common to all of us humans on this planet. When you find yourself in this situation, try to find peace with it. Try to be grateful for the lessons you're learning. Because if you meet these processes head on and refuse to become bitter, you will eventually find freedom-the freedom and truth you need. Remember: some of the greatest people who lived had to fight the hardest and had to lose darned near everything in order to gain what they really needed to learn. Never give up and never lose hope!
How to create "zen" on the planet? Love. We all crave love. That's why we're hurt so easily when we don't find it...or thought we had and realize it wasn't real. Love is precious. It's life changing. It's essential. Light workers harvest love. And they give it away in bunches. Wherever it's needed.
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Whether this concept is an old one to you...or a new one...it's still worth mentioning. I know I need reminders about this frequently myself! Here is a message about money...the material possession which makes our society go 'round! (Whether we'd like to admit it or not!)
Be frugal. Be wise. Life requires wisdom in order to succeed.
Dreams are important-they're necessary-but so is living in the moment according to the means at your disposal. If you get caught up in believing for your wishes to come true in Now, you'll find yourself in debt. Take one day at a time with your heart believing for tomorrow. Slowly build your efforts. It's a lifestyle just like everything else.
If you're patient, your efforts will pay off! And you won't have to pay "big time" for that to happen!
Now determines the future. Now is the "seat" of tomorrow. Don't project what happened yesterday into tomorrow. You'll create more of the same in "what is to come".
If you want to start fresh, make Now the best you can and see that best going forward into tomorrow. That is the most productive way to correct past mistakes, one moment at a time. And if you slip up or get off track, don't worry or fear. Just realign yourself in a successful Now and the future will be much brighter and better.
Remember: life is a journey and we are all works in progress!
The idea of fearlessness invokes all sorts of thoughts from people. Mighty warriors, rebels, living a ruthless life, not allowing people to dictate how you live. Yes, these things may be aspects of being fearless but I think there's more to it. Here are some ways in which I believe it means to be fearless: Live your life despite your fears. Let's face it. We're all afraid at some point in time. No matter how old we are, what we've been through or who we are, we still feel fear at least once in a while. The difference between a fearful and "fearless" person is the ability to continue to live and do what you want despite feeling afraid. Being able to step out into the world and continue on regardless of fearful emotions (in my opinion) makes you fearless.
Realize there is a greater purpose and unity to everything. Quantum physics has proven that: everything we see is made of things we cannot see (atoms and molecules) and that a force (light) is holding them together. All forms of matter are made from solidified light! And pretty much everyone knows that God is light and the creator of life. Albert Einstein discovered that time and space were relative, not absolute. He was quoted as saying, " "For us physicists, the distinction between past, present and future is only an illusion." (Beliefnet: How Quantum Physics Proves God's Existence). So, it has been scientifically proven that there is a greater force holding everything together that creates the reality we are perceiving. Pretty awesome, huh?
To know you can always start over and make changes. Nothing is set in stone except our wrongful mindsets. We all have the ability to start over. Perfect case in point: me. At the age of two, I began to be molested by family members. It went on until the age of twelve. I clung to the belief that I was a "black sheep". A "blight" on the planet of life. Until I realized that I had to change my thought processes or my life would never change. Once I began to be more positive, my life started getting a little better. It's never too late to start over!
To know you are an eternal being. This life is not all there is. Though many would like to believe that as truth, it's not true. Again, Quantum Physics steps up to explain. Dr. Robert Lanza developed the theory of biocentrism. Biocentrism states that life and biology are central to our consciousness (being, reality and the cosmos). He developed the double-slit test where he has proven that light and matter display characteristics of both waves and particles, depending on the observer's perception and consciousness. Why is this important? Because he has found that "reality is a process that requires our consciousness." (Beliefnet: How Quantum Physics Proves God's Existence). Dr. Eben Alexander supports this theory, being a survivor of a near death experience during which he was clinically brain dead from meningitis, making it scientifically impossible for the brain to generate any neurologic activity and brain function. 'My journey deep into coma, outside this lowly physical realm and into the loftiest dwelling place of the almighty Creator, revealed the indescribably immense chasm between our human knowledge and the awe-inspiring realm of God." He goes on to state, "The brain itself does not produce consciousness. That it is, instead, a kind of reducing valve or filter, shifting the larger, nonphysical consciousness that we possess in the nonphysical worlds down into a more limited capacity for the duration of our mortal lives." (Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey Into the Afterlife, 2012).
To embrace love and beauty in life despite the darkness that comes with it. This world is a learning ground for us all. And learning involves pain. Tragedy and trauma are some of the best ways to instill new values and understanding in our mindsets, particularly if we happen to be stubborn people. Knowing that we are here to learn and grow, we must also accept the pain the learning and growing brings. Unfortunately, that's just the way the proverbial cookie crumbles when it comes to life on planet earth.
To understand that everything has an opposite and to be willing to accept that fact. It takes guts to admit you're going to die. It takes guts to admit that bad things happen. It takes even more guts and willpower to be willing to delve through it. What could be more fearless? Light always eventually becomes darkness. Love many times turns to hate or visa versa. Lies, truth; life, death. Polar opposites. But always elements in life no matter who you are or where you come from. It's just a fact of being human.
To understand that love is the ultimate energy that heals. Researchers have shown that by shifting our emotions, we are changing the electromagnetic field radiated by our hearts. When we are feeling love, our heart beats out a very loving message. (Collective Evolution: Science Proves That Human Consciousness And Our Material World Are Intertwined). So...depending on how willing we are to give love and receive love, we will reap the benefits of that state of being not only within ourselves but also with those near and far from us. We also have the ability to affect the physical world with our love energy!
To know that there is balance in life. Good has a way of balancing out the bad in some way, shape or form. This also holds true of our consciousness. Even through the death of a close loved one, if we can gather the courage to see the tragedy from a viewpoint of love, we can find good in the bad. For example, I've buried two children now. And trust me, I didn't want to see the good in it at all. But there was good in it. My first child taught me to believe in God and the spirit realm. She showed me its reality. My second child has taught me to live in love and to be grateful for this life and my experiences because they're making me a better person. Plus, she's shown me that even though we pass from this reality, we graduate to a new one. We never truly die. I realize there may be naysayers out there, but I believe completely in what I write about and the spirit realm (paranormal) is one of my biggest topics. That being said, I believe in balance. And I even believe in good outweighing the bad...if you allow it. (All comes full circle to your state of consciousness).
I hope this post has helped you to create some new hopes and reasons for enlightened future possibilities. May you be blessed and live in blessings!
I saw her in the casket, lying peacefully, wearing the animal print dress she had wanted so badly four years before. We had walked around the store and she followed me, crying, wailing uncharacteristically, for me to buy her the dress. "Why are you acting like this?" I was irritated. I was so irritated, in fact, that I felt like flinging her across the aisles.
"I want this dress!" she wailed.
"You never act this way. You're a good kid. Calm. Peaceful. The total opposite of your sister. But now? You're acting like a monster! I already have $400.00 worth of clothes in this cart for you both. I can't afford any more. These prices are outrageous! This is why I buy everything at Goodwill!" I stared at her, beyond frustrated.
She insisted on getting the dress. Of course, I caved.
My younger daughter was the peaceful one of my two kids. She was the easygoing one. The one who gave loving advice and huge bear hugs. The one who told everyone that everything would be okay.
Now I was staring at her lifeless body, her cold, hard shell lying in a casket lined with pink satin fabric-her favorite color. The body of my beloved child adorned with the animal print dress she had pined over in the store four years ago.
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We were standing in my younger daughter’s room a few days before. My older daughter held the animal print dress. “We have to put it on her, mom,” my older daughter insisted through tears and whimpering. “You know how much she loved it. It’s what she would have wanted.”
“I know. Do you remember how she freaked out about that dress when I bought it?” I wiped my eyes, wanting to join my younger daughter in her casket.
"Yes."
We both broke down. It was inconceivable that she had been yanked from us. Our best friend, our confidant, our love.
We carefully picked out jewelry to match.
"She'll be beautiful," my older daughter said. "Just like she'd want to be."
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How will I live without you, Bubby Girl? I can't do this.
I went to her, kneeling in front of the casket. I put my hands over hers, placing one of my best rings on her fingers.
You were with me when I picked this out. My promise ring to God. Now it's yours.
I stared at her face. That beautiful, angelic face with the pouting lower lip. Her hair had recently been dyed red. It looked good on her, falling in soft curls around her cheeks and over her shoulders.
I want to be with you.
I had been through this before. I knew all about God and spirits, angels and heaven. I just didn't want to acknowledge the pain. It was then that I heard her voice.
"I'm not in that casket mom. I'm still with you."
I felt the familiar salty tears fall from my eyes, down my cheeks and into my mouth as I wept.
I know. I just miss you. So much. Every second of every day.
I stared at her, laying my head on the chest of her icy cold body. I smelled formaldehyde.
"That's not me anymore, mom. Remember. Now I can always be with you."
In immense pain, I ran my fingers through her hair, hating the smell and the coldness of her body.
You're right. It's not you anymore. But I still love you and I always will. You'll always be my baby.
I stayed with her a while more as the funeral director closed the doors to the people watching behind me.
I love you, Bubby Girl. Stay with me forever. Help me to keep writing and show me how to take pictures like you did.
"I will, Mommy. I promise."
Never stop calling me Mommy. I love how you call me that.
"I won't, Mommy. Try to be happy. Because I'm happy now."
I ran my hands over her fingers, those beautiful curved fingers that I used to hold in mine. I got up and told the funeral director he could shut the casket. As he did, I knew that my time with my baby wasn't over. It was just beginning.
Brokenness. What does it mean? To be sad, to fall apart, to mourn, to be unsure of why you're here? In my opinion, yes and no. People think they are broken when horrible things happen. People also think they're broken when they have the perspective that they've lost in life. My perspective is a little different.
Growing up, I thought I was the definition of broken, which by the way, is "reduced to fragments; ruptured, torn, fractured, out of working order." (Dictionary.com). When I was two, the abuse began. It continued until I was twelve. I aged thinking that I was "the black sheep", "the family scapegoat." Then, in my early twenties, I lost my first living child ten hours after she was born. At that point, I was decimated. But now I realize I still wasn't broken.
Twenty six years later, I just buried my second daughter. I have learned what broken really means. It means your will, your perspective on life, has been crushed into powder. You have no will left. What it means is that all old mindsets have been destroyed and you are forced to create new ones. Broken is BROKEN in every sense of the word. You don't know who you are anymore, everything that you held as truth is no longer ringing true and you have no preconceived notions to fall back on. You're in uncharted territory. You're a babe in a very new, large, scary woods. You are truly BROKEN.
Brokenness is a state of renewal. It is the most raw, deeply pained position in existence on this planet. It is the existence of nothingness. But nothingness is a place ripe with potential.
When new recruits join the military, they are put through tremendous pressure. The concept behind it is "breaking the will to form a warrior." And, to be honest, the brokenness I've been feeling is precisely that..and then some. There is no way out but UP. You can't fall further, you can't go deeper. You can only climb up. And the climb can be exceedingly painful...one tiny step at a time. Brokenness is a state where you can't focus on being broken because you're so far down that if you only think of your brokenness, you WILL quit. No doubt about it. You are forced to look up, to turn to the light and to rebuild yourself one moment at a time. You must relearn, you must form new truths, you must fight to survive by staying positive and reminding yourself that your ego has been destroyed. An example of the positive side of brokenness? You are grateful your ego has been destroyed so that you can build a new you from the inside out. Literally. If you focus at all on how hard it is, you're guaranteed to fail...and fail big time. Why is it a good thing your ego has been destroyed? Because your ego is a lie. It's not who you really are. And that's the beginning of a whole new life.
I'm sure many of you can relate to what I'm saying. I have finally reached my brokenness. If you have too, you're not alone. In your own strange sense of newness of life, embrace it. It will lead you to ultimate heights if you let it. After all, it is our deepest desire to prosper. Brokenness forces us to do it. And do it big.
Most people, when asked about Christmas, will give answers like: "It's Jesus' birthday. A time to spend with family and friends. A time to give gifts and drink and be merry." Me? Well, I have a much different perspective.
You see, in November of 1990 I buried my first child. After having lost one prior. And then this year I buried another-also in the month of November. I have been molested and abused, had a very rough start in life. I've tried to be positive, to set a good example, to be a good person, to do the right thing. Yet the pain in my life persists like a deep affliction. The years have molded me into someone who has paid the high price of great suffering, someone who knows torment and agony. I don't know why. I don't pretend to know. I only know the cards I've been dealt and it's been a bad deck.
So when I am asked about Christmas, my answer now will be, "A time to be grateful for what you have. A time to cherish those surrounding you on Christmas eve and Christmas day-and to remember that they don't belong to you. They belong to God. Because you never know when everything will change in the snap of a finger." And it does. And it will. It is inevitable. This life is not fair and it holds no promises. I never dreamed I'd bury my almost 19 year old daughter a week and a half before her birthday. Only three weeks before Thanksgiving and a month and a half before Christmas. You never know when the reaper must heed his call. So be grateful for everything you have in the given moment because life hold no guarantees.
I can definitely empathize with Mother Mary as she watched Jesus die on the cross. Losing a child is excruciating. Losing two is devastating. Three? Deplorable. It changes you forever and you must try with all your might not to become angry and jaded. It helps to know God, to believe in the beauty of Heaven. This Christmas, tell everyone around you that you love them. Even those you disagree with. It may be your last chance. You truly never know.
I leave you with this: Christmas is an attitude of love. Live it every day of your life. Make sure you do so that you have fewer regrets. Love brings out the best in everyone and this world is in desperate need of it. This world is full of suffering.
God Bless. Try to have a Merry Christmas.
You are my bridge. My bridge to love and light.
You are my hope. The hope of my destiny.
You are my dream. The dream of success which you carried for me.
You are my safety. The safety of love and acceptance you gave me.
Remember me. As your mother, the one who cherished you.
Remember me. As your friend who valued your opinion.
Remember me. The broken one who needed your tenderness.
Remember me. The vessel you poured your light into.
I miss you. The days of laughter and content.
I adore you. Your sparks of humor and helpfulness.
I remember you. My little angel with a bright future.
I hold tight to you. Your memory of rainbows and sunbeams.
I admire you. You lived with a rare condition.
You have great strength. Despite the bullies and false friends.
Though you were different. You were a shining example.
You are an original. Truly one among millions.
Your favorite color. Pink like the passionate sunrise.
Your shining eyes. Deep blue like God's heavens.
Your wavy hair. Red, brown, blonde and gold; a mane of beauty.
Your pouting lower lip. The most beautiful smile of caring.
Your creative tendencies. To make art and take pictures.
Your quirky side. To tie tight knots and laugh heartily.
Your passion. To love life despite letdowns.
Your imagination. To know angels and possibilities.
You are beautiful. Though you didn't believe it.
You are precious. Though you couldn't see it.
You are worthy. Though you didn't realize it.
You are amazing. Though you felt ordinary.
Let me see you. When my heart aches to be with you.
Hold me close. In the times that I'm hurting.
Give me love. Throw your soft arms around me.
Kiss my cheek. So I know you are near me.
You are perfect. Fun sized and abundant.
You are tender. Hugging me with your mercy.
You are gentle. Forgiving and helpful.
You are gorgeous. My baby, my angel incarnate.
God Bless you Celby. I'll write for you for the rest of my life. I can't wait to run into your arms the moment I take my last breath here on earth. Wait for me. Meet me and bring me home.
You think life is forever,
At least that's how it seems;
Death is just a shadow
In your deepest, darkest dreams.
We don't want to admit it, Or dwell upon the pain, But death is waiting for us In its own destined time frame.
Death will come and take you No matter what you say; Your time to leave's appointed In your designated way.
So don't try to deny it Or refuse to believe it's true; Live your life with purpose Until death comes for you.
-Diamante Lavendar
I miss you. Tell me you're okay.
Since I found you encompassed
Two weeks prior
In the gruesome sorrow of death's embrace.
I never thought
That once again
I'd bury my hopes
With another child;
Life with you
Was fun and vibrant,
Full of feeling,
Loving, wild;
I know you'd want me
To be tough-
To continue on
Life's lumbering pace;
To focus on living,
To cherish your memory,
To center myself on love,
Not hate.
Though I don't understand
What happened that night
When the reaper came
To the call of fate,
I know you'd want me
To persevere,
To feel your love
From Heaven's gates.
I am broken,
I am wrenched,
My aching soul
Screams your name;
But somehow I know
When I'm old
I'll be in your happy
Presence again.
Life's not fair,
Life's a test
Of wading through fear,
Sorrow and blame;
Show me your mercy,
Send me your trust,
That we'll be reunited
In Heaven again.
-Love Mommy<3
When we think of responsibility, we tend to think of being reliable and doing our jobs well. Whatever it is that we do from day to day, the perception of doing it well is seen as responsibility. Also the concept of showing up when needed, being there for others and taking good care of what we've been given in life. But is that it? Or is there more to being responsible?
This is a topic I've thought about for years. The average person considers responsibility to be a consideration only within their personal realm or space. But what about reaching beyond your comfort zone? Here are some other ways I've found responsibility to be key and essential in life.
Being a good example when no one is watching. When you see someone drop a wallet on the street, would you pick it up and bring it to them? That is an important aspect of social responsibility. If we want this world to resonate on a higher level of consciousness, we are responsible to be good even when nobody notices. Doing this passes kindness along and increases a personal level of social responsibility among ourselves and others.
Doing the right thing without expecting a reward. Something as simple as picking garbage up off the street makes you a more responsible person. Instead of walking past wrappers and other things tossed out of car windows and thrown over shoulders, you can choose to take it upon yourself to clean up and brighten the world around you. Even if it's never acknowledged, you know you did the right thing. This will increase your personal consciousness and self esteem which always ends up rubbing off on others you know. Even if you don't purposely try to make them aware of your beliefs. And when others see how responsible you are, it will motivate them to be more responsible! (At least some of them!)
Being fair and extending a helping hand. We all have moments and situations come up where we have the opportunity to help another person out who may have the possibility of hurting us. Sometimes being a responsible person is offering a hand up with no assurance of it turning out well. At times, it's good to give another person the benefit of the doubt. And if it ends up biting you in the end? Well, at least you tried. I'm not saying to be a doormat and allow people to walk all over you. What I am suggesting is when you are able, knowing that if the situation would fall flat, you are still willing to take a chance, take it! Sometimes these are the best moments in life: moments that can not only change you but the people you're walking out on a limb for as well. Actions like this not only increase your personal responsibility level and your self esteem but also the personal responsibility levels and self esteem levels of those who you've given the chance to. When out of nowhere if you decide to trust someone and it goes well, it's a very beautiful thing!
Doing your part to remedy societal issues. Society has a sad way of "passing the buck" too many times. "Oh, they'll take care of that," or "I don't know much about that. Let someone else deal with it," or "I just don't have the energy. It's a losing battle anyway," are all excuses created to keep us from feeling responsible. But the reality is, we can all do something with the resources we have, even if it's something small. It really doesn't take much to donate a coat to a shelter or to provide a bag of groceries to someone who's hurting. Maybe even secretly leave Christmas gifts on a needy familys' doorstep or fill a bag with a few essentials from a dollar store to donate to a charity. There are ways of filling in the gap with the resources we've been given. If we'd all do our part, we could create huge waves of responsibility to ripple through our communities.
Take care of our planet. Our children inherit this planet from us. What we do to it, they'll have to deal with. Why give them more pain and heartache? Take an interest in healing this world on a physical level. Learn more about solar and wind energy, begin to grow gardens in our yards or stop using pesticides on our lawns. There are numerous efficient chemical free ways of dealing with issues like this. Why spray more harmful things into the atmosphere for our children and grandchildren to breathe? Why kill off more animals and plants and eat GMO foods that are riddled with hurtful carcinogens? There is no good point to these types of things. And engaging in harmful behaviors only makes things worse and worse. It's time to start paying attention and go back to healing this planet before the domino effect of pain becomes too great for us to conquer!
Rise above destructive thought processes. If we all close our eyes to the hurtful things going on, who is going to make it better? We need to increase our awareness....our level of responsibility...and understand that we each have a piece in this puzzle. If we pass all of the responsibility on to our neighbor, our friend, our senator, our president, how can we expect anything to really change? Yes, our elected officials can make changes but nothing compared to a global realization that we can all make a difference. Even the poorest of us! We can grow gardens, we can stop using pesticides, we can share with our friends and plant trees and spread kindness. There are literally thousands of things we can all do. No matter what our socioeconomic level or level of education. We need to pull together to make amends!
Responsibility is a way of life. It's a process of thinking that we need to commit to. Responsibility doesn't just happen. It's cultivated. And if we begin to cultivate it into the younger generations, just imagine the changes it could bring!
There is an unfortunate tendency in our society to focus on social class and egoism. While I completely understand the differences and needs of particular social classes and the importance of individualism, when it comes to our society working together for good these tendencies cause problems.
In the study of society, or sociology, differences in society are categorized as class, race, gender and geographic location. These differences affect how people can access resources and opportunities. (Reference: What are social divisions?)
Social divisions stem from the idea that society is separated into the powerful and powerless. Those in lower socioeconomic classes have fewer opportunities for things like education, health care and employment. Those in higher socioeconomic classes have an abundance of pretty much everything. (Reference: What are social divisions?) For far too long, our society has valued the upper socioeconomic classes such as doctors and lawyers and undervalued the lower socioeconomic classes such as fast food workers and janitors. But the truth of the matter is, we can't have one without the other.
(Celebration by Diamante Lavendar)
It is an inconceivable notion that some people are more important than others in a society that hopes to accomplish its very best in the given moment. Yes, doctors and lawyers are important. But if society valued all walks of people more, perhaps lawyers and doctors would be in lesser demand because there would be less fighting and stress! Who would clean the rooms and hallways of the hospitals if everyone were a doctor? Who would prepare gourmet or classic meals, create beautiful pieces of art to appreciate or music to calm the senses? Who would make sure the factories worked correctly and that we had safe water, pipes, heat, electricity, running vehicles and amusement parks to occupy ourselves? It takes all of us to create a happy whole.
Democracy is defined as "a system of government by the whole population through elected representatives". (Dictionary.com). Are we truly being aptly represented by our officials? Everyone matters. Every life is important. It is a travesty and a shame when some are deemed more useful than others. Even in the Bible it says, "There is one body, but it has many parts. But all its many parts make up one body.....if all parts were the same, how could there be a body?" (1 Cor. 12:12 and 19).
We all matter. Our lives matter. Our souls matter. Our means of living matter. When we are each contributing positively to the value of the whole, who can truly say one is more important or meaningful than the other? Deep down, we all need the same things and crave the same things. I believe it's time to value the parts of society contributing to the sum of our society's parts. Even Aristotle said, "Mathematically, the whole is equal to the sum of its parts, neither more nor less." Then psychological Gestalt theory took it a step further, stating that "The parts, when working together, are able to achieve an outcome superior to one or two people working alone." (PubMed.gov: The whole is more than the sum of its parts: Aristotle, metaphysical).
I know Aristotle was onto something but I believe the Gestalt theory summed it up beautifully. If everyone worked together in harmony and synchrony, wow, what an amazing society this would be!